where have you been?

The concept of finding yourself, in my humble opinion is a drastically overrated and unrealistic one. I say this because this whole year when people have asked me what I'm doing with my life I've replied with "I'm just sticking with this degree until I find myself and what I want to do with my life." The issue with this statement and the supportive "I hope it works out for you" that comes in response, is that it implies that the current state by which I find myself isn't really the one that I'd like to, or should have for the rest of my life.

The pressure we place on ourselves to figure out what we want to be or who we want to be is the most toxic of all the things we can do to ourselves. The seven month European holidays where we hope to find enlightenment, thrusting ourselves into degrees because it might work out or going on drastic lifestyle changes in the quest to find the meaning of life - to varying degrees each place a pressure on ourselves that we need not have or deserve. I mean, we underestimate our current self and attributes to such a large extent that we're constantly pursuing the life of perfection. When I finished school I was very lost and unsure of what I was going to do with myself, I put a lot of pressure on the first half of the year and ended up disappointing myself in that I still haven't figured out what I'm doing with my life and feel as though I'm doing a degree simply for the sake of doing a degree. However, I've realised that all life choices we make help to obtain the final goal. For me, I just genuinely want to be happy and I can't give myself a time frame in accomplishing that goal because then I'll inevitably end up disappointing myself, which I don't deserve.

That's not to say that all quests of self enlightenment are futile and end in disaster but I feel as though finding yourself is a state that comes organically from all experiences had in life and not something that can be made. So really what I'm saying is that we should relieve pressure from ourselves because we have enough pressure from other aspects of life, just be happy in what you do and you'll find yourself when the timing is right.

Liv xo